Gaining Weight

I thought I was immune to the 'weight' issue until this year, I gained 9 pounds, and people noticed. Although not immediately noticeable, I do have rounder cheeks, a double chin, tight fitting slacks and my legs are just... (for a lack of a better term) thicker.

It began slowly from July of last year 2008. Changing to a less demanding job much nearer my residence definitely took its toll (More time to eat fried rice in the morning!), more time for breaks too. And as my boyfriend finally came here to Manila, we had more dates therefore more time in dining out. And let's just face it, I love to eat! Getting older isn't helping as metabolism do get slower. Plus, I am being a lazy cat when it comes to exercise.

There, there, too many factors... the end result still the same. I gained. And people started telling me "ang taba mo na" (you grew fat).

People at my current job couldn't care less. They haven't seen me two years ago or early last year, they really have nothing to compare. But they don't call me FAT. Because I'm not really. (wouldn't you agree?). Yet people who have known me before exclaim when they see me "ang taba mo na!" (you're so fat!) and they go through the litany of how my family is "tabain" (easy to gain weight).

At first, I just shrugged the comments of. And actually liked the idea I gained, my face isn't too long and haggard, the rounder face compliment me... which is much more ideal right. And besides, I'd rather be chubby than skinny.

When I realized I was talking like that, I realized that I am judgemental after all. That YES, I do care about how I look like... if I was acceptable. I CARE ABOUT LOOKING GOOD. I too am affected by society's standard of how women are supposed to look... the hair, the boobies, the abs, the legs, everything!

And I thought I was comfortable with my weight. I guess, I don't really know how 'weightier' people really felt like and how reality shows like THE BIGGEST LOSER really is a big change for people to change. I used to be like "what's the fuzz on losing weight?" not until you've actually gained some can you really understand.

No am not desperate that I'll be bolimic or anorexic. I just want to share my enlightenment on this. At the end, it's still a question of self-esteem.

ro_oan