Right down to the feeling

The days are a bit lighter. The fear I felt is something time can help mend. Still, I know the feeling will persist. Until the day I can put a finality in my heart.

I have issues.

Understatement of the century. My thoughts have been quite erratic the last few weeks... since the month of august has been 'eventful' relationship wise, it's harder for me to come to terms with things. The past still reels a significant importance, the present delayed, the future uncertain.

I feel I am very vague in my blog. But what else can I do. As if I can tell really what is happening to me... it's very hard not to have a real friend you know. Someone you can tell ALL. Trust is hard to give for me... because at times even I don't trust me. It makes making decisions very hard.

I have had questions bugging me the last few days... For one, how do you know when the line is crossed between being friends to being romantically involved with someone... is it the memorable conversations? is it the attraction and intimacy? Hard to say is it... I think it just goes down to the 'feeling' right... still, feelings are undefined and most of all hard to predict.

And what about this phrase 'Letting go'. Another term they use for breaking up. Problem is, 'let go' has a premise that the other party will GO. That is to say, will progress to something better. What if... one doesn't go??? And just stays. Untied but still there nonetheless- choosing to stay.

And then there's this: How can you say goodbye to someone you hardly said hello to? Hmm...

Thinking about this and already I feel tired. Too many questions to start the Monday.

ro_oan